I left the fandom, and it was the best decision I could have made for my mental health. Over the years, a handful of people harrassed and chased so many passionate and talented and creative people out of the space— Until the rot became so bad that there was no one left who made the fandom space worth being in. It became a space filled with puritanical progressivism: deeply unhappy and miserable people whose only joy was found in hurting others and tearing them down for fandom klout. It became a space where there was so much more time being spent on fanning the flames of whatever current discourse, fandom politics, or community drama that existed than creating any kind of fandom content.
In that kind of space, it's so easy to forget why you even liked the thing you were a fan of to begin (cause you've been sucked into a toxic cesspool that can seem like it's about everything but). It's a genuine experience of greif and loss when a thing you love becomes associated with so much hurt. It can make it incredibly hard to enjoy, ever again. But stepping back was what really allowed me the space to rediscover what It was that I loved so much about Rick and Morty. And seeing comments from old and new readers (including those who had also simmilarly left the fandom, but remained subscribed to my fics) helped me remember the reason I wanted to write. It reminded me of the joy and passion of being creative and sharing that creativity with others--not as a compettition of skill or popularity, but as a communal celebration of shared inspiration. It reminded me how much the corporitization of fandom has encouraged fandom toxicity by turning communities content and klout machines that profit off of on social harm and outrage. Fandom spaces are filled with far too many people complicit with fucking each other over for a bit of social currency.
Here, it's important to remember the role fanfiction and fannish culture have always played as an inclusive and accessible space for underrepresented and marginalized identities. In my mind, so much of what contemporary fan culture has become is inextricably tied with capitalist underpinnings that co-opt unapologetically progressive spaces into mainstream-friendly (read:sanitized and heavily censored) content. That's why I'm no longer on twitter or tumblr. My work exists exclusively on Ao3 and Neocities.
TL;DR, taking a break really put back into focus what was important to me in this space. We are each responsible for curating our own fandom experiences, and for me it means choosing not to play Fanodm Monopoly, and instead creating a small space in the decentralized void where I can protect my peace and joy and passion.
I've been dealing with a lot of big life changes over the past few months. I stepped away from fandom-esque social media spaces last year, but recently decided to take a step back from fandom spaces entirely. It feels weird because I never imagined myself here, but it also feels like the right time. As I get ready to go back to work and school, I want to be able to fully invest myself into my studies.
I am still planning to hang out in Discord DMs; respond to e-mail messages; and continue the close IRL friendships I have made in fandom; but I think I'm just burnt out by the community aspect of fandom spaces for the time being. I have long beleived that we are all responsible for curating our own fandom spaces and experiences around our needs, and part of these changes I am making are being done with the intention to give myself what I need most right now.
I won't be deleting any of my content from Ao3 (don't worry!). I still love Rick and Morty forever and a hundred years, and in my free time, will continue to publish and update my Starry AU fics, so do keep checking back on this site for updates (I'm always quietly adding art that I am not posting anywhere else on the web to the various fic pages).
I look forward to reading your comments on my fics as I continue to update them. Ao3 interaction has always been a rare space of undiluted joy and inspiration for me. More than you can imagine. Thank you for allowing me to share my creativity, and inspiration and stories with you.
Excited for Season 5. Happy Global Rick and Morty Day! I think I'll be adding some fandom archive pages on this site to have a place to archive a bunch of Rick and Morty Meta and whatnot. No promises, as it's not my life's priority right now.
Still plugging away at my fics in my free-time. I've mostly been in Confirmation and Bold as Love. I was hoping to publish my Gutter Punk fic in time for International Clash Day on Feb 9th, but we'll see ahah. I'm still working full-time and going to school full-time, and while I love escaping into this space in my free time, my schedule has been tight. I did manage to give this site a few tweaks and I think the improvements have really helped the desktop and mobile browsing.
Taking a step back from fandom interaction to focus on life stuff for a little while. I'm still planning to write. Feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
World is crazy right now, but around this time of year, I always turn up, tune in, and drop out. Feeling the summer vibe and capitalizing on it to publish some of the summer themed fics in the Starry AU. Keep an eye out for the fics on the bulliteins TBU list! (I may have also been working on Afterlife, but I'm gonna keep that hush hush because I don't wanna curse it).
Now that I have enough published fics, I have restructured the website to better navigate stories by section. Should be publishing Entropy, RICO, and Maybe 24/7 in the coming weeks, so keep an eye out!
Well, my last fic aged unsettlingly into the new year. I've been quietly working on a bunch of fics simotaneously as the inspiration strikes (I promise Afterlife is still on my mind)! Work got busy around November and therapy got intense. Both of them sapped my writing energy. I did some art for 322 (see below) if you have not seen it, and now that everyone is staying indoors and socially isolating, I'm looking forward to updating my fics. I enrolled to return to school in the fall (might change depending on coronovirus aha) so I might have to give more focus to IRL stuff this year. Just know that even if I do get scarce I'm still balls deep in this AU. I'm hoping to reply to a few more comments on Ao3 soon. I love them all and it really does encourage me to keep writing. Follow my twitter for any of the updates to the fic pages!
Welcome to the new year! Because I really like to write stories that have that full circle narrative structure, I tend to write really slow. Or I have a lot of snippets, scenes, drabbles that are polished, but are not yet a whole (publishable) fic. I'm going to start posting these scenes/drabbles here on the fic pages for those of you who follow my work! I'm planning to work on afterlife and oneshots for Jan & Feb. Keep an eye out for updates, and follow my twitter for any of the updates to the fic pages!
Haven't been doing much writing for the past few weeks. I've been doing some housekeeping of my art files, meta, etc. I'll be focused on my Secret Santa over the next few weeks, but I've also been working on Afterlife! I'm always working on my 20+ stories in the background as I get inspired to work on them. I'm a slow writer, but I've been loving the kudos and comments on my stories! I'm glad to know they are worth waiting for!
I made some slight updates to this site and have been working hard on my Secret Santa this year! I've also been on an art kick, and have been wanting to make more world art for the stary AU. Keep an eye out for it!
The next 10 chapters of TMTC are gearing up to have a really different feel than the rest of the fic. So I decided to break the third arc into a whole new fic "Bold as Love" Keep an eye out for it to go up! I also took a minute to do a few updates on this site. I've been working mostly on Metomorphosos with the goal to update by the end of Oct. But it's going hard on the sci-fi, and is taking extra time to fact-check and research. I'm gonna do it for Scientist!Rick though. (I've also been adding a few art peices to the fic galleries so check them out!)
Working hard to update Metamorphosis for the month of October! Gonna try to finish up a few of the short stories afterwards, then Afterlife. Maybe. Hopefully (Here's to S4 coming in November)!
Slowly opening up my fic documents and remembering where I left off. Getting back into the swing of things, but I am back and writing again!
Fics are on hiatus for the rest of the summer! I will be moving and working on some big projects at work, so I will have to hiatus fics until the fall. My goal is to return with an update to Afterlife, and a couple of short stories!
I've taken the time to edit all of TMTC, Confirmation (updated on ao3) and Afterlife (not yet updated). I've noticed I have a tendency to use run-on sentences and commas everywhere, so most of the editing has been with a focus on that as well as tense consistencey. I hope you notice an improvement in the clarity and flow of the Starry AU fics!
Still working on updating this website. It's gotten to the point where I think it will take less time to code a fandom website for my fics than take a chance with a social media site. Mastodon has been a great alternative, but what a miss most about tumblr, was that everything could be in one place. My playlists, my blog entries, my art, and drabbles. Hand coding a site has gotten the closest to that. While a custom site has been able to do so much more than tumblr ever could, there is less interaction. If you want to say hello, drop me an email at email@example.com. (I know, what is this the 90's?). Next thing we know, we're gonna have problematic list serves.
Also, still working on an Afterlife update. Tons of stuff written, but still figuring out larger story structure issues, and smaller edits to chapters 1-5. There are also a ton of short stories that are a few edit passes from being publish-ready.
I had originally intended this to be a single page website, however, I underestimated our ability to worldbuild, aha. But the good news is that I've added art galleries for the fics that have them, and mobile page time loads on the landing page should not be as long.
Steadily working on Ch. 7 of Afterlife! (I've been doing a slight edit/update to chapters 1-5 because It's been a year since I began it, and my writing skills have noticeably jumped). I've also been figuring out larger structural issues with the story, so I’ll likely update Confirmation, and some of the Starry AU expanding short stories.