Needs More Science
Don't break an arm jerking yourself off Morty. I turned myself into a pickle, Morty! Boom! Big reveal! I'm a pickle! What do you think about that? I turned myself into a pickle! W-what are you just staring at me for, bro? I turned myself into a pickle, Morty. Rubber baby buggy bumpers! It's like the N word and the C word had a baby, and it was raised by all the bad words for Jews.
Don't Morty me! I tricked Rick into taking Dad on an adventure because I thought I could get a break from this kind of shit! But no! Like father, like goddamn daughter! You wanna be like Rick?! Congratulations! You're just as arrogant and just as irresponsible! If I've learned one thing, it's that before you get anywhere in life, you gotta stop listening to yourself. We need a hang glider, and a crotch less uncle sam costume, and I want the entire field of your largest stadium covered end to end with naked red heads, and I want the stands packed with every man that remotely resembles my father. Those guys are inside you building a piece of shit Ethan! They're inside you building a monument to compromise! Fuck them, fuck those people, fuck this whole thing Ethan.
Head, Bent Over!
Yea. If you spend all day shuffling words around you can make anything sound bad, Morty. Not MY fault this is happening. Rubber baby buggy bumpers! I'm your worst nightmare, bitch!
Raised Up Prosterior!
Nice to wheat you! Lemme hear everybody say hey-yo! All the ladies say yeaaah! Everybody over thirty do this with your hand! Everybody with a red shirt jump up and down! Yo, everyone whose first name begins with an L who isn't hispanic, walk in a circle the same number of times as the square root of your age times teeenn! If I've learned one thing, it's that before you get anywhere in life, you gotta stop listening to yourself. They're not infinite universes left in sync with the show.
Come Watch TV
Nothing you do matters, your existence is a lie! I'm Mr. Crowbar, and here is my friend, who is also a crowbar! Morty, I'm a drunk, not a hack. Get off the high road Summer. We all got pink eye because you wouldn't stop texting on the toilet.
Hi! Principal Vagina: the name's real, possibly Scandinavian. It's fine, everythings is fine. theres an infinite number of realities Morty, and in a few dozens of those i got lucky and turned everything back to normal. There is no god, Summer; gotta rip that band-aid off now you'll thank me later. Why don't you ask the smartest people in the universe, Jerry? Oh yeah you can't. They blew up.
Inception!
It's a device Morty, that when you put it in your ear, you can enter people's dreams Morty. Its just like that movie that you keep crowing about. Sum-Sum, let’s go! Grandpa’s concern for your safety is fleeting! Hmmm, human music. Dont look at me! That guy over there roped me into this.
Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!
It's like the N word and the C word had a baby, and it was raised by all the bad words for Jews. What about the reality where Hitler cured cancer, Morty? The answer is: Don't think about it. Why'd you even rope me into this?! Full disclosure, Morty - it's not. Temporary superintelligence is just a side effect of the Megaseeds dissolving in your rectal cavity.
